Children Can Make Big Differences in the World

My son has always been a child who chooses his beliefs and arguments based on passion. He overflows with emotions when something means a lot to him. He is spontaneous. He has a very big heart and is one of the most compassionate young people I have ever met. His compassion has seldom made me more proud than in the spring of 1997, when he and I were on a ‘date’ with each other on the way to pick up a Dragon Ball Z action figure he had been doing little jobs in order to earn the money to purchase.

We were walking along, chatting in the direction of the store, when for just a moment I did not hear his voice. I turned in terror (Many know that feeling when you dread they have wandered off?) to find he had stopped in front of a young man in his 20’s who was sitting in the door way of a store panhandling for change, and dropped all of his hard earned money into this boy’s guitar case. I must admit the part of me I am not proud of that wanted to yell, “He really didn’t mean to give you all of it.” or, “He has been saving for weeks!” did not win over the other feeling I was experiencing. I am sure that at some point in each parent’s life there is that lump in your throat that signals an over whelming pride and emotion; that your child has taught you a lesson you will not soon forget.

For this reason I believe it is crucial to instill in our children an ability; moreover a desire to step outside their fortunate lives; with all their video games, DVD’s, full tummies, good health, loving families, and free education, to actually see those in life who are not as blessed. The lesson we need to teach them is not to be passive bystanders, and to acknowledge other people’s plights; to respect them to see them and their humanity, even when their situation is difficult for them to relate to.

Children can make big differences in the world

It's natural to want to shield children from situations in which they feel helpless .Yet this, many times reinforces the idea that children can't make a difference in their minds. By trying to protect them, we unknowingly encourage children to look away from the suffering of others. We miss the opportunity to share those teachable moments that build the bonds in our family stronger and build important characteristics in our children who will lead us in the future .We nurture passive bystanders (a young society who remain on the sidelines of society and allow situations to remain the same .World leaders say this poses a significant concern to our world today.

A few years ago many leaders attended an international conference with some of the greatest minds of this half a century, including the Dalai Lama. These learned individuals were gravely concerned that one of the major threats facing our world was not terrorism, but that our generation is raising a subsequent generation of passive bystanders. “How can this be?” you ask? In doing nothing we are part of the problem instead of a solution, and if everyone were to continue in this path of thinking, the problems in our world will only worsen.

Here are some suggestions that will not only help your child learn the lessons of giving, but will also unify your family by setting up a philosophy that, “We care and are grateful, and your children learn, grace and generosity

5 Ways To Make a Difference

Volunteer With Your Children at a soup kitchen, a food bank, a coat drive, to raise money for a toy drive. They will feel a sense of accomplishment and community and a feeling of pride and power that they are capable of changing someone else’s life.

Brainstorm a list of people in your community, like the elderly, homeless, blind, new immigrants, and others, that your family could help. For example, read for someone who is blind, or take an elderly person shopping, give a single mom a break by caring for her kids for an hour (just enough time for a bubble bath) .

Encourage your child to ask, "Can I help?" Gestures such as holding the door open for strangers, smiling at others or helping you with daily/ weekly chores around the house will make them feel relevant and important.

Nurture empathy by giving examples of the negative effects their bad behaviour can have on others. Children can learn to appreciate that their actions can affect others and move them to make better choices because of the empathy they feel for others. Basing your discipline in honesty and giving explanations, rather than your ultimate power over them, sends the message that those with more power must treat those with less power with justice and respect. For example, my first year working in my classroom (I have children 4-12yrs old in my room at one time) one of my older students was acting bold and saying “yeah, well tomorrow I could come in and kill everyone!” A 4 year old boy who had heard got quiet instantly and his eyes got big with fear. Now, my impulse was to instantly get frustrated with the older child, however he would have learned nothing. I asked him to come over and requested he observe the younger child for a few minutes. He observed what I had. and asked why “he ‘Timmy’ looked so sad”, I explained that because of his ill thought out words this child who looked at him as a hero, now was afraid and thought that tomorrow his “hero” would do him harm. “This room no longer is a fun safe place to him” I added. The older child told me he had been kidding. That he would never hurt his “little buddy”. I explained that since he had caused the pain he would have to make it right. He started by announcing that “I hope you guys all know I was kidding before about the killing you stuff.” And in the next week or so, proceeded to make his ‘little buddy” his special project; reading to him, playing cars, and Lego. The child that had tried to get power through his words had learned he already possessed it, and he had the choice of how to use it.

Start Collecting. With your family, collect toys and clothing your family no longer uses. Donate them to a local women's shelter or another service organization. Every year in my classroom we run an “Operation Winter Warmth” campaign from September- November. We collect blankets, pillows, coats, clothes, boots, and the children do chores at home to earn change for the purchase of toiletries. We actually walk to a Dollar store or grocery store and let them purchase these items themselves. We then donate these items to the shelters in our neighbourhood. In the spring we will be raising money to buy laundry soap for these shelters.

A Little Humour

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture” Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.” A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” Yes," the class said.” Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn't run into my feet?” AA little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet isn’t empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want God is watching the apples.”

My How They Grow!!

1-3 months
Baby’s hand is curled into a fist that instinctively holds onto objects that are put into her palm. At two months the grasp is less reflexive and more controlled. At three months, the palm is weakly open but with little strength to grip objects.

5 months
Baby begins reaching for objects such as toys.
Baby might briefly grasp and hold toys.
Baby will enjoy sucking her own hands.

6 months
Baby is beginning to follow objects with her eyes.
Baby is sucking her feet and grasping objects between both hands

7 months
Baby is developing the ability to transfer objects from one hand to the other.
Baby’s finger-thumb grip develops and she can simultaneously grip objects in both hands.

8 months
Baby keeps hands open and relaxed most of the time.
Baby is starting to have the ability to pick up small foods, like Cheerios.

10 months
Baby is able to release an object voluntarily.
Gives toy to caregiver when asked.
Baby should be able to hold more than one object in her hand.

Teach Your Children To Play.

Play is Vital.It is as important as the food we feed our child and the rest time we make them observe.It helps to create a healthy level in their learning and emotional growth.Play helps children express joy, and sadness.It is the fun part of life.Children's personalities, how they view and interpret the world is expressed through play.
Through play children learn to challenge their surroundings, they get a positive sense of self and mastery. They start to recognize their own positive sense of self and how much potential is present within themselves for success.When children play; when they use their imgination, they are transported to the place where anything is possible. ( They are Mommies, Daddies,Pirates, Explorer's, and cavemen.They are whatever their imagination can dream up!)They involve all areas of creativity, motor skills, social skills and problem solving.(Have you ever tried to keep up with a 3 year old?)They use this time in such a way that not they even they realize the development in reading and thinking skills that is taking place for them.When they read to their 'stuffies', whether mimicking or real, when they play teacher, when they play mommy and nurse their 'babies' back to health they are learning and formulating solutions.
During play children work through emotions; learn to manage situations, and get a clearer sense of relationships,values, and ethics.Children's language skills grow surprisingly as do areas of reasoning, and thinking. the other perk is that, through play there is an increase in parent child bonding. Opportunites for informal conversations, and a variety of teachable moments lend themselves nicely to those quiet times where parent and child are engaged in play.Let your child guide you in their play. In the next moment guide them.Play should be free chosen and nothing should be taken for granted.Play will answer many questions about who your child is and how they are relating to their world. It may surprise you how much you learn.

One Book I recommend is "Playful Parenting".It adds a light playful side to all aspects of parenting.
I will recommend, or direct you to this book often in my blogs because it deals with many areas of parenting and family life. I have used it both personally and professionally.

A Child Views the World Through Our Eyes As Well As Their Own. What You Say and Do Is Always Being Watched.

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.

Everyone Really Is..Every Parent.. Every Child!